2009
NJ Full Marathon - 26.2 miles (May 2009 - Long Branch, NJ)
This race will always be a special time in my life and mark a major transition for me. Before this race I had never run a running race of this nature - in fact, the only running I had done was the running during practice or conditioning for sports in my high school and college days. Part of me can't believe that the very first race I ever signed up for was a full marathon (not a 5 or 10K). I had always liked the idea of the full marathon dating back to watching the 5 borough NYC race on TV and always wanted to do NY. I didn't get in the lottery for that race and this race was at the Jersey Shore and seemed like the perfect place to go out and finally make good on the "I'll run a marathon one day" guarantee I made years earlier. To me it never was necessary to look at short goals if the only one you wanted was 26.2 miles away. After a strong sub 2:00 start (first 13.1) I hit a wall and pushed home slowly for a final time of 4:34. My parents and wife were at the race making it all that more special. Basically, I have said this on a few occasions but the person who said "i'm going to get off the couch and try to run a marathon" after never running more than 3-4 miles and the one who finished that race in the rain running down the boardwalk simply were not the same person. I made so many rookie mistakes (after all, this was my first race ever), but I was forever hooked on running and setting my sights on bigger goals. After that finish line, everything I could dream seemed in reach. I accepted a VP position less than a month later and the rest they say ... is (my) history.
Bronx Half Marathon (August 2009 - Bronx, NY)
A special race and still one of the toughest I have ever run. Those who picture NYC as a flat canyon of skyscrapers has never been to the Bronx. The hills in the Bronx are no joke. They range from the steady upgrade of the Fordham Rd section near Science High and through the steep, hot concrete and overpasses of Moshulu parkway, Van Cortland Park, and the Grand Councourse straight through the heart of the Bronx. The big marathon in NYC always gets the attention for the crowds, but the true heart of the city has always existed in its diverse boroughs. This race will always be special seeing all the different countries represented in signs in different langauges on the windows in the store fronts and the loud guy in the track suit close to the finish yelling, "Hey ... you're gonna f**king finish guy ... run harder, you f**king got this". As a die hard yankee fan, this is both hysterical, expected, and welcomed. Anytime a race can make you feel like your in the right field bleachers Section 39 in the old stadium, it is a special race.
Tunnel to Towers (September 2009 - Red Hook Brooklyn to Ground Zero, Lower Manhattan)
This race really can't be described, only felt and experienced. The whole day is a mix of solumn rememberance of those lost on 9/11, a salute to the FDNY for their bravery, and a giant middle finger to those who try to scare us as a reminder that people in the tri-state will continue to rise and come together. The race starts at the firehouse in Red Hook where Steven Stiller, a firefighter who was off duty at the time of the attack, was stationed. Hearing that the tunnels were jammed with traffic and still finding a need to rush to help his fellow fire fighters, he ran the roughly three miles in full gear with tanks through the tunnel and to the trade center and then up the stairs to assist helping others. Pictures exist of him in the stairways helping others down. Those were the last images seen of him as he was one of the 343 fire fighters lost when the towers collapsed. The race begins at the street sign "seven in heavan way" as six other company members from that house were also lost. To honor the FDNY childrens and survivors charities and the wounded warrior project, an annual race is held here (and in locations throughout the country and Iraq and Afganistan) to remember his and others ultimate sacrifice. This race, one in which tears and inspirational fist pumps go hand and hand, features runners in full fire gear and miltary uniforms getting the loudest cheers and most enthusiastic high fives you can imagine. The race is led by a group of those wounded in war and a group of the military cadets from west point running in formation and is finished by running durectly into the view of the Freedom Tower and 9/11 memorial while passing 686 fire fighters who are holding pictures of those lost and American flags (343 pictures on one side and 343 flags on the other). It is a must on the race calendar every year and a great way to honor and remember people who do extrodinary things for a living so that we can be safe and free.
2010
Fighting a stess fracture in my shin most of the year led to only two races, the NJ half marathon in May and the Tunnels to Towers Race in September. This year was filled with hope to kick my running into the more serious and regular catagory, but the injury was a good reminder that both age and training are critical facotrs to remember when trying to complete athletic events.
2011
Tunnels to Towers - September NYC
for the third year in a row I was able to complete this race and be a part of the festivities. Great, great event. This was my first race of the year as the continued issues with the shin cause limited training.
NJ Tough Mudder - October Englishtown, NJ
This race is part nuts and part soldier play time for grown men and women. The race, designed by the british special forces, is a mini-boot camp of 13.1 miles and 29 obstacles which is obviously easier than real boot camp but crazy enough to show you that this race is about endurance and not time. Completing this race leaves you with more of a sense of camarodery with your race team than other races as most obstacles require team work to complete. The obstacles range from easy (jumping logs and climbing cargo nets), to physically demanding (carrying logs up and down hills and running through a stretch of half a mile of waste deep mud), to metally intimidating (ice bath/swim and electric shock while ducking barbed wire) to finally developing a sense of team work (scaling walls and running straight up the side of a half pipe and throwing yourself at the people at the top to catch you so you dont fall all the way back to the ground). This race seems more mentally and physically scary than it is. Perserverence and teamwork help any who apply complete the race and feel a proud sense of accomlishment. It also doesnt hurt that out of all the races on my calendar, it has the most fun atmosphere with a post race kegger with a band waiting for those who finish the entire course.
2012
Pennsyvania Tough Mudder - Pocono Mountains, PA - April
Take all the things said about the race above and add in the fact that this race was contested in the mountains where the 13 miles were up and down mountains and you have an idea of this race. This was extremely difficult and fun. This was also the first race I ran after my dad passed and the feeling of team and competetion was something that for at least 2-3 hours put some of the hurt behind me.
NJ Half Marathon - May Long Branch, NJ
This race was a victory of sorts for me as it became the first distance race I have run three times in a row and always has a special connection because of its shore location, vistas, and the finishing run down the board walk. This year, more than ever, was especially tough because of all of the time I spent at the Jersey shore with my father. The race was filled with all the times we walked the board walk, played golf near the shore, and those famous sand animals he used to make along the shore from Cape May to Belmar. However ... the race almost didnt happen for me at all. This race for me will always be the one where I almost got a "DNF" which in races terms is the worst thing one can hear. The DNF next to a runners name signifies "Did not finish" and is the one result that we all strive to never see on the results page. I, sleeping in a bit too much for having a race, headed down the parkway with still a decent amount of time to spare if not for the fact that the Jersey Shore and parkway area can look like a parklot on most weekends and this day didnt disappoint. Traffic was so heavy, when I pulled into Monmouth Park Raceway I had 15 minutes to the start. Leaving all my usual gear behind except my ipod, I ran to the race bib pick up (which seemed further than the race distance itself from my car). As I entered the tent, a kind volunteered said "Half?" indicating that the half start, being 30 minutes earlier than the full, was about to begin. I said yes did the exchange and put on the race tee so as not to lose it (I had no bags to check) and was jogging towards the fininsh line while putting on my race number. My final hurdle (literary) was to hop a race barrier to get to the start line (the corral was too long to go around) and started the race while the announcer said "all half runners must begin in the next minute or they will be asked to leave the course for the start of the full". Months of training, a morning full of traffic, and my race results came down to a barrier jump and one minute announcement.
George Washington Bridge 10K run - Fort Lee, NJ / Washington Heights, NYC)
This race, a little over 6 miles, was a race that I was very excited about running. After the amazing experience of running the tunnels for towers though car tunnels and the tough mudders through all kinds of crazy conditions, I became interested in running different races and locations to break up the monatany of racing on simple streets or trails. This race, one which starts and begins in Fort Lee, is different because running accross a bridge the size of the George Washington Bridge and seeing the entire NYC skyline on one side and the less developed hills north of the bridge with uninterupted views is an opportunity that isnt normally presented given the heavy traffic that the bridge is famous for. Being able to actually run accross the border of the two states twice and then running downhill to a park that has great views of the bridge and city is an added plus. This race also has a great barbeque after and all proceeds from the race benefit the American Cancer Society.
Westfield Downtown Pizza Race - July Westfield, NJ
Any small town race which starts and ends in a downtown race is always a different experience. It feels more like a family event and one in which you're likely to see a neighbor cutting their grass as you run. This race, scheduled on a summer evening when the whole town seems to come out, is a nice event and features a pizza hand out at the end and a block party feel since the streets are blocked off and their is a concert at the end of the race.
Tunnel to Towers (September - NYC)
NYC MARATHON for Fred's Team, Sloan Kettering - Canceled due to Sandy - I'll BE BACK!
2013
Empire State Building Run Up (February NYC)
This "run" is equally one of the most enjoyable and horrible I have ever participated in. On the positive side, the opportunity to run up the stairs of arguably the most iconic building in the United States and run accross a finish line over 1,200 feet in the air with a panaramic view of the city as your reward is amazing. This year the event was highly publized as we ran with Kelly Rippa and many other members of the media. However, if the idea of running or walking even a few flights of stairs is not a fun one to ponder ... running over 100 floors and roughly 1,600 steps in a tight staircase of a building built in 1931 is an ugly nightmare. You hit the first 10-20 floors running (clearly not aware that vertical pacing in a race is MUCH more critical than in regular running). Then, from floors 20-40 perserverence and determination kick in and you keep moving. From 40-60, your lungs begin to shut down and the lactic acid in your legs begins to feel like you have been skiing for a week (if you didnt pace yourself - the mistake I made). As you begin to reach the top, the feeling of just wanting to complete the race and stand atop the skyscraper looking down completely refocuses you. As I crossed the finish line, I bowed to take the medal that was being presented and looked down from the observation deck. That was a really cool and sort of surreal moment, but I still took the stairs down.
All State 13.1 Marathon - March Queens, NYC
This race was a smooth, scenic run that featured many bands along the route to push you along. The race was another milestone for me as it became the fifth and final borough of NYC that I have raced in (I ran the running leg of the Staten Island Tri-athalon the year before but didnt register in the full race because I had bike issues and wasnt going to race with a mountain bike -therefore I do not count it as a completed race).
NJ Runapalooza five miler - Asbury Park, NJ
A shorter, non-descript race that I orginally signed up for to run simply due to the fundraiser for the Jersey Shore (after Sandy) and as a club event (one of my two clubs - Old Bridge Running Club was running this one) turned into a must run and a communal event after the horrific events in Boston. Blue and yellow (the colors of the Boston Marathon) were everywhere and a nice moment of silence and rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner were played. The run, the feeling of being back at the shore, and the communal feeling of coming together with spectators and runners at a time like this made it a really special day.
NJ Half Marathon - May
This was a rough race physcially, but great to see thousands of runners coming together at the shore with the "restore the shore" theme everywhere. We had a great turn out from our running club and my two regualr running partners were both in the race which helps a lot for motivation. Physically, I had been battling some soarness in my IT band for a few weeks but had never dealt with that area so I chalked it up to a little eratic training and thought it would be ok with stretching. I was wrong ... this was a battle and I had to finish because I NEED to cross finish lines - but the last three miles were a tough, painful trek which caused me to stretch more before and after runs and break down and buy the roller that many runners find helpful and I always thought was not necessary. Time to start running smarter ... I'm not 25 anymore.
GWB run 10K - June
Simply amazing day. Very hot, but this race always is. Place a race at the end of June in the middle of a "concrete jungle" and ask us to run across a double decker suspension bridge from NJ to NYC and back ... and you can expect to be a little warm. However, the day was picture perfect in terms of the visability. On the NY run you could see all the way bast the Battery to the statue of Liberty and on the NJ run, the Hudson north was full of boaters and outdoor activties. What made this race truly special was the finish ... As I was coming down from the final turn, I spoted a sign that I could swear had my name on it. The American Cancer Society placed signs along the route posting runners "why we run" lines. As I got the the part where every runner thinks, I need to kick as hard as possible to get just under whatever time will be clicking on the finishing clock ... I see the sign that I was running for my Dad. Of course, this led to a full out sprint and a picture that I will forever be proud of.
NY Giants Champions run 5K - June
Picture getting an opportunity to run in the stadium of your favorite team with some of the teams legends ... the NY Giants Run of Champions was that run for me this year. Running with the Union running club, I competed in this short course from the area near the race track, around the practice bubble, and right into the stadium - crossing the finish line in the end zone at the Meadowlands. Not only was I able to meet many of the former Giant players - I finished the race at the same time as former wide out Amani Toomer and got a great photo with him. Afterwards, finishers and their families were let into the lockerroom for a tour and invited to eat and visit exhibits all around the stadium.
Westfield Downtown 5K - July
This race, one that I have run the past two years, was a special one as Tracy and her mom came to watch me race. I always appreciate anyone coming out to the races as the process is a real pain to fight traffic and deal with the crowds. Seeing family and friends at a race always pushes me to have a great race and reminds me that I started running for family.
Battle of Brooklyn 10 Miles - August
This race was my first race that took place entirely in the borough of Brooklyn. It was a rainy morning and the race was limited to only a smaller field of runners who belong to a club team or had NYRR or NYCRUNS affiliation. What a difference that made in terms of easy to get to and from the race and in terms of running space during the run. The reduced field of around 500 runners led to open running lanes, excellent views from within and just outside of Prosepect Park and an opportunity to talk to some of the runners I have seen at a few races but didnt interact with because of the crowds. I have said it before, there really is no place like NYC to run ... the people, the calm of the parks hiding behind the roar of the louder city streets, and the characters you meet! Great race and I also decided to stop by the spot of Ebbets field. I am no Dodgers or Mets fan, but as a baseball fan this site even if it is only a plauque and an appartment building was still on my baseball bucket list!
Color Run - Englishtown, NJ - August
My first "non-timed" 5k fun run. I orginally agreed to do this because a good friend decided to run his first 5K and put together a team for support. I ended up having a great time and being inspired by seeing someone else not only join the running community, but smash their own expectations of what they would achieve during the run. Lots of color, fun, and excited people ... also the most kids I have seen at a running race so the added benefit of having that many kids physically active and enjoying themselves was an added bonus.
Philly "Rock and Rolla" Half Marathon - September
A last minute adjustment to my race calendar to join some of the Old Bridge Running Club, this run was exciting as it crossed in and out of center city Philadelphia with one of the largest crowd I have seen at a race. Loud and encouraging, the spectators in Philly made this a fun race which I will not forget. Being able to do it with a team and seeing some old faces I've run with over the past few years was fun too.
Tunnel to Towers - September
This race, as I have mentioned above, has become a pilgramage for me. This year both the Old Bridge runners and the Union Running club ran this race which for me made this my favorite Tunnels with the exception of the first one I ran. Having a large group of 10-15 fellow runners at a race that has become your personal favorite makes the experience that much more fun ... including the concert, morning activities, and the post race meal (this year at PJ Clarkes on the water).
NJ Tough Mudder - October
This years Tough Mudder turned into a Hightstown reunion as the class of 95 went at the course hard (and in at least one persons case the course bit back hard IN THE FACE). Great to see the guys again, laugh like it was 20 years ago, and more importantly earn my third orange headband for completing over 12 miles and 20 obstacles (this year) ... hopefully we will have even more HHS alum out there next year and can make this an annual event.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Why we run ... and thoughts on Boston
Based on recent events in Boston, I felt the need to de-stress in the way I know how ... first, I ran about five miles last night while watching the coverage and then set down to read something I wrote last summer at Columbia University as part of their writing project. My first feeling is that those who seek to terrorize us want to scare us enough to panic and change our behavior. While we will always remember those lost or hurt in these events, we all must remain committed to living our lives, spending time with friends and family, traveling, and challenging ourselves to new things.
Strikingly, the week of April 14-20 is one that we do not think of in connection to events as vivid as 9/11, however this week marks the events in Boston, the Oklahoma City Bombing (4/19), the Waco tragedy (4/19), the Columbine shooting (4/20), and the Virginia Tech horrific shooting (4/16). While these are isolated incidents, most occurred in places that represent or oppose federal government or strike at an area where places attempt to help others (Boston being a charity event and the schools being places where higher learning attempts to help the next generation). That very fact is enough to will us to continue to gather, enjoy, and go on living the best life we can imagine each and every day.
The greatest thing about our nation is that we are resilient and tough beyond what the terrorists (foreign and domestic) could ever dream. Hurricanes Sandy and Katrina taught us that most of the good will and support needed in our toughest times happen amongst and because of ordinary heroes, citizens, volunteers, and first responders that make up this countries backbone. When 9/11 happened, the Tri-state and nation as a whole was one unified country like we had never witnessed before in my lifetime. In the aftermath of 9/11, Boston players took the field wearing FDNY and NYPD hats in a show of solidarity and hope to move forward. Sports can do that ... make bitter rivals respect and stand behind one another at a tough time. That is why this Saturday, thousands of other runners and I will still line up on a starting line (my race is in Asbury Park) to boldy say ... we remember, but you won't stop us from living, running, and supporting one another. This was the wrong community to attack, if you can run 26.2 miles when everything in your brain tells you STOP ... you are not afraid of much and don't think anything can stop you. I for one, with my running clubs Fred's Team and Old Bridge Running Club, will be on that starting line (wearing for the first time in my life a Boston Hat as a tip of the cap to the 9/11 honor those hated Red Sox showed) thinking of those in Boston and honoring them the way we should ... by continuing to move forward and cross finish lines.
Below is my original (not good, but relaxing) writing from Columbia ... Why We Run
This day will begin or end like a lot of others, with a stress relief that makes no sense to those who don't also subscribe to the same form of therapy. My new hobby, running marathons and half marathons is not most peoples idea of relaxing. But it is the simple things running can offer you that make this such a great sport to participate in. The sounds are what usually gets you into a relaxed mood before a long run, especially in the morning. There is a quietness to race morning or long training runs that you don't always get in Jersey, almost like the sound is turned off for a few minutes while you mentally argue with yourself, "No, don't go back to bed or chill, you have to put in the miles." This goes on longer some days than others and I would be lying if I said that bed or procrastinating didn't win sometimes. But then something changes. You get the feeling that you need to run. Sometimes it is because of stress and you just need an outlet, other times you feel like if you don't your waistline will continue to expand until you are a perfect square. But the moment hits you, you hit play on your ipod, and you are out the door running. Running for exercise; running for fun; running for stress relief; running but hating it; but you are running and that's what matters and the other stress disappears for a little while. I'm not thinking about the stress of running a school when politicians attack it no matter how hard the teachers and I work and not thinking about the stress of social or family commitments. For a little while, it goes away and I'm just running. That little cloud around my head protecting me from stress is what runners live for.
I rarely pick my routes, allowing my feet and mind to take me wherever they want to go. At the beginning of every run there is always either excitement for a race or agony that you are running again. Hard to describe, but most runners have a love-hate relationship with running. There is no in between. After a few minutes of running, the brain starts to focus. Time to enjoy the scenery, think of the positives of exercise giving myself a little mental pat on the back, and why I run in the first place ... to raise funds for charity and challenge myself. My mile 2 you start to feel good and challenge yourself to run harder. This for me is usually achieved by focusing on the feeling crossing a finish line, handing a check to a charity, or by the fear of watching my classmates that I used to play sports with in high school and college grow horizontally and not wanting to face the same fate. This thought is usually reinforced by the slight jiggle in the mid-section I feel on hills or running corners almost if to remind me if I ran harder or more frequently I might be in better shape! As you get to mile 3 or 4 on a longer run your mind starts bringing images of the positive race experiences you have been a part of. One of my favorite images to think of is mental picture you get coming out of the tunnel facing the Freedom Tower while running the Tunnel to Towers race from Brooklyn to Ground Zero. As you come out of the tunnel, the probationary fire fighters are lined up on both sides holding picture of those lost in 9/11 and American flags ... 343 of them.
The picture of these brave people cheering on those runners who are raising funds for the FDNY charities and the Wounded Warrior project is moving beyond words. I also think of the veterans missing limbs who run on prosthetics during the Tough Mudders, the cancer survivors who run the NYC races with Fred's Team to raise funds for Sloan Kettering, and the countless older runners who continue to defy time because they are choosing to live and make the rest of us feel bad as they pass us. These images once seen, cannot be unseen. The first long race that you spend with people of this caliber and challenge yourself to do something you never thought was possible is a life changing event. I finished the NJ marathon in 2009, challenging myself to complete the 26.2 mile course and train for the event never having run more than 2-3 miles for sports practice before I was in my mid-20's. Now in my 30's I would decide that I would run over 10 times further ... was I crazy? In retrospect, it was one of the best decisions of my life right up there with going into education and proposing to my wife ... these are the three events I truly believe changed my life from a reckless idiot to someone who at least tries to be a better person. The person who started that NJ marathon race is not the same one who finished the race. Just two weeks after completing that race I went in to interview for a vice principals position. Armed with the confidence and thoughts that just a few months before the race I made a commitment to do what I thought I could never do, I walked in and won the job by showing how I felt no matter how daunting the job of reaching kids who are in an at risk situation ... I could do it. That sense of belief is something that can only be achieved when you truly pushed yourself to the limits ... I got my belief from running.
I glance at the ipod or the race mile marker the same way a second grader or high school student looks at the clock on the wall during a lecture that seems to go on for days. For the first time, the voice that all of us here creeps in ... "Ugh ... its only the fourth mile? How can that be ... I have 22 to go? Aaahh shit." Depending on the race or the day, this can also be the beginning of the physical games your body plays with you when you challenge yourself to run a marathon or half marathon. My nemesis can either be the shin that I broke a few years ago running in the Bronx marathon or the right knee that always used to bark during soccer or baseball for apparently no reason since I never remember injuring it. The shin is a particular source of idiocy and/or pride. The doctor at the time told me my shin split two inches vertically in the middle (which makes a really cool nuclear bone scan picture by the way) and it was most likely a small stress fracture before the race. Running through pain, a few years into running and a few years wiser is stupid, is something we all do. However, being told you ran a half marathon on the hills of the Bronx with a broken shin and you STILL didn't give up also gives you the same kind of rush that the challenge did in the first place ... I can do anything I set my mind to.
That feeling ... "I can do this" is needed again and again to do anything of importance in life whether it is finishing a marathon, parenting or teaching a kid who drives you crazy, or getting through a tough situation in life or school. On a long run, refocusing and thinking about these things rotate constantly in your head. On my run, after thinking about these things, I look up again and a few more miles have ticked off. I refocus and start playing the mind games we all play with ourselves when we need a boost. "At mile ten ... I'll slow down and get a Gatorade and check my time". The pain that shows up and the voices that say you should just quit are ever present in a distance race (at least for bad habit having commoners who run them like me). This was the first wall. There will be many more. Over the months of training the walls get easier to climb over because you get used to pushing yourself past obstacles. This is another central skill distance runners acquire that benefits us in life ... the ability to keep going when things get rough. I also have the added bonus of a positive voice in my head that always beats the negative naysayer voice. It is my dads voice. He coached me for so many years in so many sports that hearing him running when my mind is the most clear can actually make me feel as though I am having a live conversation with him. He once told me, when I was complaining about something insignificant that happened with bosses at work during a golf round, "Scot, walls aren't put up to stop you ... they exist to separate you from those who quit easily and to get them out of your way". Thinking of this guidance, not unlike a thousand other sayings he told me, pushes me further and makes me run harder.
This year, (written in the summer of 2012) I am running with a whole new sense of purpose. Getting up for training runs has been something I now look forward to. This year it is fitting that the voice that I hear in my head urging to go forward is that of my dad because I have been running on Fred's Team for Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in NYC to raise funds for the types of rare cancers that eventually silenced the actual voice of the person who coached me through all those seasons of my youth. Dad lost his battle on January 9, 2012 after an amazing display of strength, courage, and dedication to make an impact on everyone he met with the hope that he would beat the dreaded disease that takes too many of our loved ones. One of the things that was critical to my father was to ensure that through the drug trials, testing, and now fund raising that his battle "meant something" and would help beat this dreaded disease. I think about why I run these races and why crossing the line at the NYC marathon is so important to me. This, running each day to complete the race with the eventual goal of inspiring others to help me raise money is my way to continue my dad's battle against cancer and ensure that Dad completes his last "project". On this run I think about his last few weeks. As we visited Virginia to see family and friends and he played the most courageous 36 holes in golf history in Myrtle Beach only about a month before his passing, all he was concerned about was making trips to tell people what they meant to him and how proud he was of his family, friends, and former co-workers. When I run and raise money, I think about his self-less attitude before, during and after he was sick a lot. I know I miss him tremendously, but as I run I feel connected to his mission and the loss feels more empowering to try to get others to help me donate to help complete his final mission. Again, to a non-runner, it may be difficult to understand why one would want to run 26.2 miles for any reason ... but I ask, if that was the time that you felt the most connected to those who have mattered the most to us and those we've lost ... the question isn't "how could you possibly like running" ... the question is really how can you not enjoy completing races, running with other people on a mission, and to hear your dads coaching again.
Wonderful thoughts like that drift in and out as you run ... I would be lying though if I said that is what you think about for 3-4 hours (Again ... I'm not Kenyan). My next thoughts come around the ten mile mark usually. Ten miles ... saying sounds long to recreation runners and sounds like a plane ride to those who hate running. When you are at the ten mile mark you still have another ten miles and a ten kilometer race left. That is a cold fact that has hit me on many runs. This to me is the area that you make the decision to fight ... this is the angry stage of the run. I start thinking about doubters. The ones who said you can't run that far. I look a little deeper for inspiration, convinced that the voice telling me you can keep going sounds a lot like the teacher in high school who flatly told me that I wasn't going to college or amount to anything. I think that not only is their voice making me run harder, but I really wish that I could go back in time and have that teacher transferred to my school to be evaluated on how he "motivated" his students. Armed with the anger from those who say I couldn't make a difference and the thoughts of my dad fighting no matter what the odds ... I run on.
The miles don't seem as rough with a little perspective. The next ten to thirteen miles rotate between the thoughts in the above paragraphs ... excitement, doubt, anger, perseverance. The final wall comes usually closest to the finish in the last few miles. The pain picks up because your body seems to know you are getting closer to a couch or an ice bath. The voice gets a little louder to quit or sit because pain and fatigue can be an amplifier. But then something happens that cant be described, the final wall starts to erode and you start to picture yourself crossing the finish line. You realize that you didn't train for months, get up when you wanted to sleep, and keep going through injury to stop this close to your goal. You start to think that you will achieve this mission, which for me is to continue my dads battle and make some small dent in the battle against something that seems insurmountable. Finally, the finish line is in sight. There is really nothing like the end of a long race. I always get the feeling that I look a little like Kurt Gibson hobbling awkwardly to the end but feeling like I won the race (even though the Kenyans finished so long ago it can barely qualify as the same race). Crossing the line with the feeling that you have done something that just a few months ago seemed impossible does something for your spirit that cannot be described. It is a sense of validation, kinship with the thousands of runners who will also finish and have amazing stories of their own, and a profound sense that if this can be achieved by a lazy non-runner anything is possible.
And that's really the beauty of the sport, the recreational runners run the same course and get the same joy and sense of fulfillment that the winners do. Baseball doesn't allow beer league softball players to play a warm up game before the world series nor does basketball let guys from the local park play horse before the NBA finals. That is why runners run ... the challenge, sportsmanship, and feeling that anyone can do something amazing. As I mentioned, I run for cancer research. I get down sometimes looking at my fund raising page and thinking ... "I can only raise $3,000 bucks? What will that do to cancer?" However, it is then that I think of that same 30 something that got up off the couch and said, "I'm going to run a marathon". That's the thing I love most about racing ... I got to have my movie ending. I finished the race, got the job, and recently completed my 15th distance race pushing my fund raising total to over 10,000 for various charities. Sure, to beat cancer seems insurmountable some days ... but so did that race goal we all set for the first time ... and any runner will tell you how that story ended.
Post Scipt - the ING NYC marathon on Nov 3, 2013 will be my 25th distance race. I still hate running, but as long as I hear my dad on my runs and cancer still exists ... I will keep running. If you'd like to donate to my run this year, please click below:
http://mskcc.convio.net/site/TR/FredsTeamEvents/Freds_Team?px=2066084&pg=personal&fr_id=1930
Strikingly, the week of April 14-20 is one that we do not think of in connection to events as vivid as 9/11, however this week marks the events in Boston, the Oklahoma City Bombing (4/19), the Waco tragedy (4/19), the Columbine shooting (4/20), and the Virginia Tech horrific shooting (4/16). While these are isolated incidents, most occurred in places that represent or oppose federal government or strike at an area where places attempt to help others (Boston being a charity event and the schools being places where higher learning attempts to help the next generation). That very fact is enough to will us to continue to gather, enjoy, and go on living the best life we can imagine each and every day.
The greatest thing about our nation is that we are resilient and tough beyond what the terrorists (foreign and domestic) could ever dream. Hurricanes Sandy and Katrina taught us that most of the good will and support needed in our toughest times happen amongst and because of ordinary heroes, citizens, volunteers, and first responders that make up this countries backbone. When 9/11 happened, the Tri-state and nation as a whole was one unified country like we had never witnessed before in my lifetime. In the aftermath of 9/11, Boston players took the field wearing FDNY and NYPD hats in a show of solidarity and hope to move forward. Sports can do that ... make bitter rivals respect and stand behind one another at a tough time. That is why this Saturday, thousands of other runners and I will still line up on a starting line (my race is in Asbury Park) to boldy say ... we remember, but you won't stop us from living, running, and supporting one another. This was the wrong community to attack, if you can run 26.2 miles when everything in your brain tells you STOP ... you are not afraid of much and don't think anything can stop you. I for one, with my running clubs Fred's Team and Old Bridge Running Club, will be on that starting line (wearing for the first time in my life a Boston Hat as a tip of the cap to the 9/11 honor those hated Red Sox showed) thinking of those in Boston and honoring them the way we should ... by continuing to move forward and cross finish lines.
Below is my original (not good, but relaxing) writing from Columbia ... Why We Run
This day will begin or end like a lot of others, with a stress relief that makes no sense to those who don't also subscribe to the same form of therapy. My new hobby, running marathons and half marathons is not most peoples idea of relaxing. But it is the simple things running can offer you that make this such a great sport to participate in. The sounds are what usually gets you into a relaxed mood before a long run, especially in the morning. There is a quietness to race morning or long training runs that you don't always get in Jersey, almost like the sound is turned off for a few minutes while you mentally argue with yourself, "No, don't go back to bed or chill, you have to put in the miles." This goes on longer some days than others and I would be lying if I said that bed or procrastinating didn't win sometimes. But then something changes. You get the feeling that you need to run. Sometimes it is because of stress and you just need an outlet, other times you feel like if you don't your waistline will continue to expand until you are a perfect square. But the moment hits you, you hit play on your ipod, and you are out the door running. Running for exercise; running for fun; running for stress relief; running but hating it; but you are running and that's what matters and the other stress disappears for a little while. I'm not thinking about the stress of running a school when politicians attack it no matter how hard the teachers and I work and not thinking about the stress of social or family commitments. For a little while, it goes away and I'm just running. That little cloud around my head protecting me from stress is what runners live for.
I rarely pick my routes, allowing my feet and mind to take me wherever they want to go. At the beginning of every run there is always either excitement for a race or agony that you are running again. Hard to describe, but most runners have a love-hate relationship with running. There is no in between. After a few minutes of running, the brain starts to focus. Time to enjoy the scenery, think of the positives of exercise giving myself a little mental pat on the back, and why I run in the first place ... to raise funds for charity and challenge myself. My mile 2 you start to feel good and challenge yourself to run harder. This for me is usually achieved by focusing on the feeling crossing a finish line, handing a check to a charity, or by the fear of watching my classmates that I used to play sports with in high school and college grow horizontally and not wanting to face the same fate. This thought is usually reinforced by the slight jiggle in the mid-section I feel on hills or running corners almost if to remind me if I ran harder or more frequently I might be in better shape! As you get to mile 3 or 4 on a longer run your mind starts bringing images of the positive race experiences you have been a part of. One of my favorite images to think of is mental picture you get coming out of the tunnel facing the Freedom Tower while running the Tunnel to Towers race from Brooklyn to Ground Zero. As you come out of the tunnel, the probationary fire fighters are lined up on both sides holding picture of those lost in 9/11 and American flags ... 343 of them.
The picture of these brave people cheering on those runners who are raising funds for the FDNY charities and the Wounded Warrior project is moving beyond words. I also think of the veterans missing limbs who run on prosthetics during the Tough Mudders, the cancer survivors who run the NYC races with Fred's Team to raise funds for Sloan Kettering, and the countless older runners who continue to defy time because they are choosing to live and make the rest of us feel bad as they pass us. These images once seen, cannot be unseen. The first long race that you spend with people of this caliber and challenge yourself to do something you never thought was possible is a life changing event. I finished the NJ marathon in 2009, challenging myself to complete the 26.2 mile course and train for the event never having run more than 2-3 miles for sports practice before I was in my mid-20's. Now in my 30's I would decide that I would run over 10 times further ... was I crazy? In retrospect, it was one of the best decisions of my life right up there with going into education and proposing to my wife ... these are the three events I truly believe changed my life from a reckless idiot to someone who at least tries to be a better person. The person who started that NJ marathon race is not the same one who finished the race. Just two weeks after completing that race I went in to interview for a vice principals position. Armed with the confidence and thoughts that just a few months before the race I made a commitment to do what I thought I could never do, I walked in and won the job by showing how I felt no matter how daunting the job of reaching kids who are in an at risk situation ... I could do it. That sense of belief is something that can only be achieved when you truly pushed yourself to the limits ... I got my belief from running.
I glance at the ipod or the race mile marker the same way a second grader or high school student looks at the clock on the wall during a lecture that seems to go on for days. For the first time, the voice that all of us here creeps in ... "Ugh ... its only the fourth mile? How can that be ... I have 22 to go? Aaahh shit." Depending on the race or the day, this can also be the beginning of the physical games your body plays with you when you challenge yourself to run a marathon or half marathon. My nemesis can either be the shin that I broke a few years ago running in the Bronx marathon or the right knee that always used to bark during soccer or baseball for apparently no reason since I never remember injuring it. The shin is a particular source of idiocy and/or pride. The doctor at the time told me my shin split two inches vertically in the middle (which makes a really cool nuclear bone scan picture by the way) and it was most likely a small stress fracture before the race. Running through pain, a few years into running and a few years wiser is stupid, is something we all do. However, being told you ran a half marathon on the hills of the Bronx with a broken shin and you STILL didn't give up also gives you the same kind of rush that the challenge did in the first place ... I can do anything I set my mind to.
That feeling ... "I can do this" is needed again and again to do anything of importance in life whether it is finishing a marathon, parenting or teaching a kid who drives you crazy, or getting through a tough situation in life or school. On a long run, refocusing and thinking about these things rotate constantly in your head. On my run, after thinking about these things, I look up again and a few more miles have ticked off. I refocus and start playing the mind games we all play with ourselves when we need a boost. "At mile ten ... I'll slow down and get a Gatorade and check my time". The pain that shows up and the voices that say you should just quit are ever present in a distance race (at least for bad habit having commoners who run them like me). This was the first wall. There will be many more. Over the months of training the walls get easier to climb over because you get used to pushing yourself past obstacles. This is another central skill distance runners acquire that benefits us in life ... the ability to keep going when things get rough. I also have the added bonus of a positive voice in my head that always beats the negative naysayer voice. It is my dads voice. He coached me for so many years in so many sports that hearing him running when my mind is the most clear can actually make me feel as though I am having a live conversation with him. He once told me, when I was complaining about something insignificant that happened with bosses at work during a golf round, "Scot, walls aren't put up to stop you ... they exist to separate you from those who quit easily and to get them out of your way". Thinking of this guidance, not unlike a thousand other sayings he told me, pushes me further and makes me run harder.
This year, (written in the summer of 2012) I am running with a whole new sense of purpose. Getting up for training runs has been something I now look forward to. This year it is fitting that the voice that I hear in my head urging to go forward is that of my dad because I have been running on Fred's Team for Memorial Sloan Kettering Hospital in NYC to raise funds for the types of rare cancers that eventually silenced the actual voice of the person who coached me through all those seasons of my youth. Dad lost his battle on January 9, 2012 after an amazing display of strength, courage, and dedication to make an impact on everyone he met with the hope that he would beat the dreaded disease that takes too many of our loved ones. One of the things that was critical to my father was to ensure that through the drug trials, testing, and now fund raising that his battle "meant something" and would help beat this dreaded disease. I think about why I run these races and why crossing the line at the NYC marathon is so important to me. This, running each day to complete the race with the eventual goal of inspiring others to help me raise money is my way to continue my dad's battle against cancer and ensure that Dad completes his last "project". On this run I think about his last few weeks. As we visited Virginia to see family and friends and he played the most courageous 36 holes in golf history in Myrtle Beach only about a month before his passing, all he was concerned about was making trips to tell people what they meant to him and how proud he was of his family, friends, and former co-workers. When I run and raise money, I think about his self-less attitude before, during and after he was sick a lot. I know I miss him tremendously, but as I run I feel connected to his mission and the loss feels more empowering to try to get others to help me donate to help complete his final mission. Again, to a non-runner, it may be difficult to understand why one would want to run 26.2 miles for any reason ... but I ask, if that was the time that you felt the most connected to those who have mattered the most to us and those we've lost ... the question isn't "how could you possibly like running" ... the question is really how can you not enjoy completing races, running with other people on a mission, and to hear your dads coaching again.
Wonderful thoughts like that drift in and out as you run ... I would be lying though if I said that is what you think about for 3-4 hours (Again ... I'm not Kenyan). My next thoughts come around the ten mile mark usually. Ten miles ... saying sounds long to recreation runners and sounds like a plane ride to those who hate running. When you are at the ten mile mark you still have another ten miles and a ten kilometer race left. That is a cold fact that has hit me on many runs. This to me is the area that you make the decision to fight ... this is the angry stage of the run. I start thinking about doubters. The ones who said you can't run that far. I look a little deeper for inspiration, convinced that the voice telling me you can keep going sounds a lot like the teacher in high school who flatly told me that I wasn't going to college or amount to anything. I think that not only is their voice making me run harder, but I really wish that I could go back in time and have that teacher transferred to my school to be evaluated on how he "motivated" his students. Armed with the anger from those who say I couldn't make a difference and the thoughts of my dad fighting no matter what the odds ... I run on.
The miles don't seem as rough with a little perspective. The next ten to thirteen miles rotate between the thoughts in the above paragraphs ... excitement, doubt, anger, perseverance. The final wall comes usually closest to the finish in the last few miles. The pain picks up because your body seems to know you are getting closer to a couch or an ice bath. The voice gets a little louder to quit or sit because pain and fatigue can be an amplifier. But then something happens that cant be described, the final wall starts to erode and you start to picture yourself crossing the finish line. You realize that you didn't train for months, get up when you wanted to sleep, and keep going through injury to stop this close to your goal. You start to think that you will achieve this mission, which for me is to continue my dads battle and make some small dent in the battle against something that seems insurmountable. Finally, the finish line is in sight. There is really nothing like the end of a long race. I always get the feeling that I look a little like Kurt Gibson hobbling awkwardly to the end but feeling like I won the race (even though the Kenyans finished so long ago it can barely qualify as the same race). Crossing the line with the feeling that you have done something that just a few months ago seemed impossible does something for your spirit that cannot be described. It is a sense of validation, kinship with the thousands of runners who will also finish and have amazing stories of their own, and a profound sense that if this can be achieved by a lazy non-runner anything is possible.
And that's really the beauty of the sport, the recreational runners run the same course and get the same joy and sense of fulfillment that the winners do. Baseball doesn't allow beer league softball players to play a warm up game before the world series nor does basketball let guys from the local park play horse before the NBA finals. That is why runners run ... the challenge, sportsmanship, and feeling that anyone can do something amazing. As I mentioned, I run for cancer research. I get down sometimes looking at my fund raising page and thinking ... "I can only raise $3,000 bucks? What will that do to cancer?" However, it is then that I think of that same 30 something that got up off the couch and said, "I'm going to run a marathon". That's the thing I love most about racing ... I got to have my movie ending. I finished the race, got the job, and recently completed my 15th distance race pushing my fund raising total to over 10,000 for various charities. Sure, to beat cancer seems insurmountable some days ... but so did that race goal we all set for the first time ... and any runner will tell you how that story ended.
Post Scipt - the ING NYC marathon on Nov 3, 2013 will be my 25th distance race. I still hate running, but as long as I hear my dad on my runs and cancer still exists ... I will keep running. If you'd like to donate to my run this year, please click below:
http://mskcc.convio.net/site/TR/FredsTeamEvents/Freds_Team?px=2066084&pg=personal&fr_id=1930
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